A friend is... ?

The MyBestFive web pages are about many different subjects but have two main themes: personal or shared experiences; friendships, past, present and future.

I was called up for military service in 1955 and served for 3 years in the RAF. I had a lot of pals, young men my own age; we went out together at weekends doing the things young men do. They were pals but not real friends.

It was probably in mid 1956 when stationed in Germany that a pal and I started to hook-up sometimes. His name was Tommy Tighe, a Scot from Glasgow. After a while we went out together more often and then there was a point when neither of us went anywhere or did anything without the other, or at the least telling each other what we were doing.

Tommy was a friend in the full sense and meaning of the word. We went for meals together; went out at night and weekends, almost always drinking and trying to pick-up women. We shared our money, got into trouble together, shared many experiences over an 18 month period; we looked out for each other. We also worked together during the day; slept in the same billet with 10 other guys so there was hardly any time during the day or night that we were not together.

So why do I mention all of this? What’s the point? I guess it’s just a personal viewpoint about friendship. In the real world, outside of the military, Tommy and I would not have been friends. We were totally different people with a different outlook to life and even if we’d met it would have been nothing more than a Hi, how are you type of thing. Yet, in a lifetime he was the best friend I ever had and we had a closeness that is hard to replicate. We never met again once we left the RAF

In the real world women are almost always the divider that comes between men. It’s not to say a man cannot have a good friend but it’s very difficult to form these powerful bonds during ordinary day-to-day life. Growing-up, wives, girl friends and children make that impossible.

I miss having a friend like Tommy.